Time to Give it another try

Okay, it’s been a while since I’ve been on here.  I’ve decided to give dating another try.

I’ve experimented for a month of so on internet dating.  It’s soo not for me.  I’ve found it to be a place to flirt oh so much, but in the end,  can I really find love, or someone who I can spend the rest of my life with?  I know some profess to have done just that, but I can’t see it.  I must say, I met one guy from internet dating, but I don’t quite see him as someone I would really date at this point.  Don’t get me wrong, he’s a perfect gentleman, very handsome, an affectionate smile, extremely intelligent, he can hold my attention, we talk about everything under the sun, but…and there is that big ole but…He still seems to be holding on to, those ways of a guy that is just intoxicated by how many “beautiful women” that are in this world.

All in all, I can see him as a wonderful friend.  Hey, you never know, but right now, I’m just breezing through the water.  I’m learning to seize the moment, you only live today once.

Since internet dating, is off my charts, I may still pop in to flirt my butt off.  I mean who knows, I may just  find my next date, in church, at the grocery store, running errands, at work (huge place to do that, I mean there must be over a million businessmen to walk through those doors daily), at a business meeting, at the mall, you just never know.  I’m not scurred, I’m taking dating in stride.  I’m ready, so here goes.

I may just start naming my days of the week, in regards to dating.  For instance, Sunny Sundays, Misty Mondays, Fantastic Tuesdays, and so on…  We’ll see.  Until tomorrow.

Fyrst Lady, out!!


Why hire a Wedding Planner??

The decision to hire a wedding planner is very personal one.  It should also, be a decision made by the couples or at least approved by the groom to be, because it is his day as well.   Many couples want and need assistance in planning their special day. 

Couples opt for the assistance of a wedding planner for many reasons.  Some of these reasons are:

  • Reduce stress
  • Professional guidance
  • Save time
  • Save money
  • To be the negotiator
  • To be a mediator
  • Detail orient
  • Visually create dreams

Look no further, COTA Designs, Inc.  We Create Dreams and Design your Future.



So when is the word B#$%@, used as a term of endearment.

Ladies, we really must get away from the word B@#$%.  How can you expect a guy to respect you when you allow him to call you this?  When did we allow this word, to become a philosophical term of endearment?

Why is it, that when a guy calls you a five star B@#$%, a Diamond B@#$%, a classy B@#$%, or anything that personifies something good being mixed with this word, its a compliment.  But if he calls you just a B@#$% then there is a problem.  Women rise above this standard of allowing yourselves to be denigrated.  Please do not allow the acronyms that are used in place of this word, to fool you.  No B@#$%, does not stand for, “Beautiful, Individual That Causes Hardons”, or “Beautiful, Intelligent, Talented, Creative and Honest”, or “Babe In Total Control of Herself.”  The definition of B@#$% is, in its noun form, the female of the dog or some other carnivorous mammals; a lewd, or immoral woman; a malicious, spiteful, or overbearing woman – sometimes as a generalized term of abuse.

Please explain to me, which one of those definitions personifies who you are? Rise above, stand up and learn from this.  The only person who should affect your growth, should be you.  Try not to start, by using this word to describe who you are, or what you are, because I’m sure that you think more of yourself at the end of the day than this.  At least, I hope you do.  I’m here to inform you of the beautiful, loving, caring, understanding, strong, intelligent women you are and/or should be. 

God bless you on your future growth.  Make sure you let the next guy, female, or anyone for that matter, know that you are not a b@#$%, but you are one of the rarest jewels ever.  Tell them to call you Ruby, because your worth, is far more than a diamond.

In the word’s of the female rapper, Yo-Yo, “…you gotta let them know, you ain’t a B@#$% or a hoe.”

Da Fyrst Lady

Women please allow the men to have their day, “Father’s Day”!

A Father's Love

I commented on a status today on Facebook, regarding women allowing men to have their day, “Father’s day” because we had ours “Mother’s Day”, well the response of some women was, “nope cuz I’m both.”  This disturbs me to no end.  The definition of a father is, “a MAN who has begotten a child.

I understand women who have to play both parenting roles, as I am a single mother who does just that.  However, a woman can never take the place of a man, nor can she teach a boy how to be a man. Being a single mother requires so much patience, understanding, discipline, love, sacrifice, hope, perserverance,  investment and hardwork.  This is the makeup of a mother.  Maternal consistency will never equate to that of the paternal figure. 

I remember how so many years ago, I use to say that I was celebrating Father’s day, well I did this until I knew better and I began to forgive, forget and move forward in my life.  When you release yourself of the rensentment that you hold against your childs father, it is then, and only then that you can allow yourself to celebrate the father’s who are a constant in their child(ren) lives.  I have realized now more than ever that there are more men playing both parenting roles than ever before, but they will never get the recogniition that a Mother receives for doing this.  A man will never be able to fill the void of a mother, just as a mother can and will never fill the void of an absentee father. So ladies I pose this question, What about single men who play both roles, shouldn’t they get the same recognition on Mother’s day as theirs too?

Women, I urge you to celebrate the good father’s on Father’s day, and allow them to have the one day that they are entitled. There must be a man that acted/acts as a father figure in your life or your child(ren) life, whether it is an uncle, grandfather, cousin, brother, Pastor, Deacon, or just a positve male figure.  Celebrate the awesome father’s that are still in the world.  Let’s build them up, and in the process, maybe it will encourage absentee father’s to become more present in the lives of their children.   Try not to dwell on what he hasn’t done and/or failed to do and allow him to be present, because you may not need him, but your child(ren) does.  Don’t allow your problems with this man, to affect your child(ren).

Dating in the New Millenium

I remember when my grandmother and mom used to tell me about dating.  They would tell me how a guy would ask you out and come to the door and meet your parents, and open the doors, pull out your chair, and have you home at a reasonable hour.

Well I wonder, what has happened?  I mean, what happened to these guys of yesteryears?(the yesterday and years ago when my mother and grandmother were coming up).   Have they all vanished?  It seems to me they have.  I still believe in chivalry.  I teach my boys that you treat a lady with respect.  You open the door for a lady, and then you come behind her. 

I have been out on a five dates in the last three years, and only three made it to a second date.  Out of the three that made it to a second date only two opened and close doors, the third one I had to let him know that if you are expecting to date me, you need to open a door.  I have also realized that some guys are emotionally bound and affected in past relationships too.  Some can’t get over their past hurts, and they say women have problems. 

Now with my new dating experience, what can I say but,  I’m taking it slow.  It’s hard to decipher a guys true intentions, so as always I ask.  Hey, I need to know, why do you want to date me.  If it’s to get the cookie, well it’s not gonna happen until I’m ready.  I’m not looking for a sex buddy, I’m waiting on something that will lead to a committed relationship.  Why not, I’m worth it.

This new millenium dating blog will be ongoing, as I update you on my experiences and you acquaint me with yours.  Questions and answers that I am looking forward to asking/answering are:  How do you know when a lady is “The One”, Does chivalry still exist?, or Are men only chivalrous to women, if they believe they are worth it?,  Do men want women to take more initiative in the dating process? 

More questions will arise as my new experiences with dating come about.