I commented on a status today on Facebook, regarding women allowing men to have their day, “Father’s day” because we had ours “Mother’s Day”, well the response of some women was, “nope cuz I’m both.” This disturbs me to no end. The definition of a father is, “a MAN who has begotten a child.
I understand women who have to play both parenting roles, as I am a single mother who does just that. However, a woman can never take the place of a man, nor can she teach a boy how to be a man. Being a single mother requires so much patience, understanding, discipline, love, sacrifice, hope, perserverance, investment and hardwork. This is the makeup of a mother. Maternal consistency will never equate to that of the paternal figure.
I remember how so many years ago, I use to say that I was celebrating Father’s day, well I did this until I knew better and I began to forgive, forget and move forward in my life. When you release yourself of the rensentment that you hold against your childs father, it is then, and only then that you can allow yourself to celebrate the father’s who are a constant in their child(ren) lives. I have realized now more than ever that there are more men playing both parenting roles than ever before, but they will never get the recogniition that a Mother receives for doing this. A man will never be able to fill the void of a mother, just as a mother can and will never fill the void of an absentee father. So ladies I pose this question, What about single men who play both roles, shouldn’t they get the same recognition on Mother’s day as theirs too?
Women, I urge you to celebrate the good father’s on Father’s day, and allow them to have the one day that they are entitled. There must be a man that acted/acts as a father figure in your life or your child(ren) life, whether it is an uncle, grandfather, cousin, brother, Pastor, Deacon, or just a positve male figure. Celebrate the awesome father’s that are still in the world. Let’s build them up, and in the process, maybe it will encourage absentee father’s to become more present in the lives of their children. Try not to dwell on what he hasn’t done and/or failed to do and allow him to be present, because you may not need him, but your child(ren) does. Don’t allow your problems with this man, to affect your child(ren).